Asking questions of myself

I need to make some changes in my life. I'm barely treading water and I am not happy. I'm not miserable, but not waking up happy and appreciative to have another day.

That is not cool. How can a person have a job, a roof over their head (however temporary) and food, and not wake up happy.

I am alive. I can walk and breath on my own. I have clothes in the closet. OK, so most don't fit right about now. I can change that. I can do something about it!

But, I won't. Why?

Why am I willing to settle for mediocre when there is so much more I can do. I can be better than this. Do better than this. Need to get further along in my life than this.

It so much easier to stay down in the dumps. Keep gaining weight, keep feeling down. Why do I insist on feeling sorry for myself? What do I think I am going to gain from it.

Not a damn thing.

So I know these things to be true, I've put it out there. It's in the universe and written down for good measure.

Next step is, I need to change me.

How exactly do I make that happen?

I don't know. I'm going to give it a try. Starting now...

I'll keep you posted when I get it clearer in mind. And I will get it clearer because I am going to post it here. That will help me hold myself accoutable because I have to write it down where someone other than myself will read it.

Check in with me. Let me know what you think as you follow me along this new journey.

Travel

Sometimes
I stand in the front yard
watching planes land
in the distance
at LAX

I imagine family
anxiously awaiting
the arrival
of those on the 747
flying overhead.

Or the destination
in store for
passengers
whose flight
floats
over the ocean
after takeoff.

Can I go too?

Regret

I shouldn't have
turned
my back
walking away
as you called
my name

I shouldn't have
lost my temper
and listened
as you tried
to explain

I shouldn't have
assumed you
were being dishonest
as you were telling
the truth

I shouldn't
have left you
all alone
wondering, waiting, expecting
companionless

I
should
not
have

Left my love
behind

Haiku

Sunflower seeds planted
Flowers grow 6 feet tall, faces wide
Squirrels eat them all.

Betrayal

Walking through the party
headed towards a group
of old friends

Laughter, snickers
comments on the side
"only because he's tall..." or "won't play..." or "he'll ride the pine"

Heard from
your boys
those who said
they had
your back

"I'll go places you will never see"
Head held high
turn around and walk away
confidently and with stregnth

Always know
who your friends are
Some one will betray you
and the surprise,
it's never
who you think.

Love poem/Anti Love Poem prompt

Love togetherness
Pretty and passionate
Forever they say
No more

In Reverence of Fridays

IN REVERENCE OF FRIDAYS

Friday morning is the only day
during the workweek
that I wake up smiling
Friday

Happily jumping into the shower
earlier in the office
sooner the day will end
Friday

Payday
falls
on every other
Friday (Hee, Hee)

Working doggedly through lunch time
knowing that afternoon
concentration is shot
looking foreward
to the evening
Friday

Why oh why
Do we get
only one
Friday
per week