After

My daughter's surgery went well this morning. But, she's been having some problems with the Vicodin. She'd rather deal with the pain in her hand than take that medication. Can't say that I blame her.

The worst part of all of this, she will probably miss the entire basketball season and it's her senior year. She worked hard and had earned a starting position. I'm hoping she will heal enough to at least play on Senior Night which is February 12th, I think. She's a little bummed about missing this year, but plans on attending every game and many of the practices.

I'm proud of her for that. She is committed, if nothing else.

She's my baby.

One who is happily on her way to college. My prayer for her is that she gets accepted to enough schools to give herself lots to choose from.

I know the Lord has only good things in mind for her.

and worse

We are scheduled for surgery on my daughter's right wrist on Monday at 10AM pst.

She has a more severe injury than originally thought and will have a screw inserted in the wrist to repair it. And will probably miss her entire senior year of basketball. Big bummer.

But, the blessing is that it can be repaired and that it was caught. Because if we had stayed with the urgent care diagnosis, we would be looking at twice as long to recover. Thank goodness for the trainer at school who knows his stuff.

Have a happy thanksgiving everyone!

so it gets worse...

My daughter was referred to an orthopedic surgeon by the trainer at her school. An athletic trainer at a high school, you ask? Yes indeed.

Lucky for us the girls varsity coach is good frineds with a guy who is a trainer with the LA Galaxy soccer team. He volunteers and trains students to be athletic trainers at the daughter's school. He told me last night that he didn't like the way her hand looked and felt, so he wanted us to see this ortho. (I guess that's what all that tuition gets me, huh?)

I was able to get her an appointment for this afternoon. Well, my husband just calls to tell me she has a hairline fracture that can be repaired one of two ways:

A cast- worn for three months and the wrist may not completely heal properly

Surgery- a half hour procedure and she would be back at practice in as little as three weeks.

SURGERY!!! On my 17 year old baby. are you kidding me??!!

Of course, that is the option she wants to take. Quick, fast and in a hurry!

I'm waiting for my husband to talk to the surgeon and let me know when, where and how much.

oh yeah

happy thanksgiving

The lesson of listening

I have this client who is often a pain in my butt. Lately I am beginning to understand why he can be so difficult.

He's in his mid 70's with a very ill wife. I think she has parkinson's and some dementia. So, he has that to contend with. He has worked for his employer for about 20 years. He is with a very well known non-profit. They do great work.

But he is also dealing with a mid-forties female boss who wants him out and a early 20's co-worker who thinks the only way to contact people is by email or text messaging. She doesn't understand the concept of picking up a phone and setting up face to face meetings. Or why relationships are so important to her position. She's the public relations/special events coordinator at a large non-profit. HELLO! She needs the local media FAR more than they can ever need or use her and the organization.

So, this little old man callls me this morning because he couldn't find my bosses, the department head, extension. I transfer the call to her office and he starts right in with his complaints. They don't listen to me around here, you didn't explain well enough what you wanted from me, you need to do more, faster and in a less expensive way. yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah.

Then he proceeds to tell us some other confidential information about is boss and coworkers. And finished all of this by saying that he wants to resign in the next few months. That he ccouldn't deal with things there anymore and needed to leave.

Once he finished with his complaintes, he told us that his wife is dooing poorly and asked for our prayers that they travel safely from their home in Texas to see family in Colorado. He wanted help in praying that his wife would be able to make the trip. It's in 10 days. They're going to see her children and their favorite grandchildren. And he is really worried about his wife.

My point in blogging about this client and the conversation is because I realized that all he wanted was someone to listen to him, pray for him and to sympathise with him. And my boss was in a hurry to run from her office to another meeting. Notebook in hand, laptop on the notebook, heading to her door with the client on speakerphone. Ready to go.
I too was feeling a little put out as we have spoken to this man 2 times a day for about a week straight. I was thinking enough already.

If I can't give 20 or 30 minutes of my time to listen to someone in need, what kind of person amd I? Why am I not picking up on when the lord has sent someone to me for a kind word and genuine concern? What does that say about me and my christian principles?

I think it means that sometimes we need to stop, take a dep breath and just listen.

Monday

I'm thankful that I woke up this morning.

And the rest of the day went down hill from there.

Tomorrow has got to be better.

Thanksgiving

"We're happier people when we're aware of the blessings that surround us."

I read this very simple statement in Women's Day magazine last week and it has been on my mind ever since.

Often, I get so caught up in the day to day whining about what I don't have, I forget to be thankful what what I do have. I am thankful for the following:

A healthy family- I am always reading about the trials and tribulations of parents with chronically ill children. That has never been my existence. Thank you Jesus.

A well paying job- Could I make more, sure. Could I also not have a job at all, absolutely. I thank the Lord for that.

A good hearted husband- He gets on my last nerve and isn't always there emotionally when I would like him to be, but he loves me. And better yet, he loves our children.

A roof over my head- We almost didn't for a minute there, but the Lord has stepped in to keep that from happening.

A vehicle that runs- actually 3, but only one car note. You all know that is a HUGE blessing.

The list could go on, but I think along with the daily challenge of posting, i will list something that I am thankful for each day too.

Hope you all had a blessed day, I know I did.

day 4

So, it's day 4 and I'm still posting. Even though I really don't have too much to say. My teenagers are hanging around and waiting to get on the computer.

It's really annoying the crap out of me and I can't think.

It's Saturday and I didn't have to be anyplace early this morning. I actually got to sleep in until about 9am. I never get to do that.

I did a little cleaning, not nearly as much as needs to be done. But, it's a start.

Time to do a some grocery shopping and decide on dinner for tonight and tomorrow.

Hope you all are having a good day.

Depending on you

Phone calls to be made.
Bills to be paid.
Problems to be dealt with.

Where are you
in all of this
What are you
handling
When
can I
ever
depend
on
you

Will you
carry
your full load
or even
your own
weight
again

you used to
do that
so well

I never worried
about
paying a bill
making calls
handling problems

many times
you headed them
off
at the pass
never
for me
to
hear about
or deal
with

can I have
those days
that man
my old friend
back

30 days, 30 posts

I swiped this from idea from Chele. It sounded like a good challenge.

I really need to work a little harder on my writing and maybe trying to meet the challenge of posting everyday for 30 days will help me to achieve that goal.

Please bear with me as I have no idea what you may find when you come here each day. I hope that some things are interesting for you to read. And for those things that aren't, oh well.

On another note, today is the beginning of the busiest time of year for my cleints. Therefore it is one of the busiest times for me. As stressful as it will be, it will also be a blessing for many people, and I am happy to be a part of it.

Here's to many blessings for many people.

it's about me

I don't know why this happened to me.
And I know you couldn't do anything
to prevent it.
I only wanted you
to hold me
afterward
Just hold my hand, rub my back,
put both arms around me
and hug me
close
make me feel safe again.

you couldn't do that
not that one little thing
for me

I don't ask you for anything
not money
not time
not even honesty
anymore

you couldnt do it
not that one thing
for me

This was not a time
for you to feel
sorry
for yourself
everything that goes on
around us
isn't about you
sometimes
every once in a while
it's about
me

But you couldn't do it
not that one thing
just this once
just
for
me

Boys and earrings

My 16 year old son wants and earring and we've told him no. He's been bugging us about it for a couple of years now. Below is the essay he sent me today trying to convince me to change my mind. It's hilarious! I've kept his spelling, grammar and punctuation errors for all to see.

Why I should get an earring

There are many different reasons why I want to have an earring. There are also some reasons why I think I deserve having an earring. Earrings aren¡¯t a gangster look it is a look that makes young men look more presentable. I am 16 years old and I think that I am old enough to get an earring. Also I think that girls like guys who have earring because it looks nice on them.

Earrings on males use to show that a young man is becoming older and is showing his maturity. In Africa after a male turn the age 15 he would get his ear pierced to show that he was becoming an adult. The people in his village would now treat him as an adult rather than a child. He receives more respect. Now earrings are put on a young mans ear for many different reasons and I don¡¯t believe that looking like a gang banger is one of them or else women wouldn¡¯t put them on there 6 or 7 year old child.

At the age of 16 I think I should be able to get an earring though I haven¡¯t been through a lot of things in life I still think I deserve it. I wouldn¡¯t present myself in away that I may look like a gang banger I would present myself in a way as I dress now. Simpler and neater. I think I really want an earring not just to be like everyone else. But to be my own self. I know that a lot of young African American males have earrings and I would look like another one of them but I will think of myself as different. I will also think of myself different because I am 6¡¯8¡± and wear a size 18 shoe.

Young woman these days think that guys with earrings are cute or ¡°hot¡± and I like girls to think of me and have those descriptions in there heads. Its not that girls don¡¯t think im cute now ( I mean come on) but this will improve my chance with a beautiful and intelligent young woman. There¡¯s not much more to say in this paragraph because its not a strong argument.

In conclusion I really want an earring. It will show maturity and it will make me look more presentable. I want this so bad that I really just sat here and wrote you an essay why I think I deserve it and hopefully you will let me get an earring. Hopefully this will change your maind about letting me have one.

Here was my response:

My son,

You are too funny!

As much as I have to give you credit for such a well thought out essay, I must take you to task for the spelling and grammatical errors. You should have used spell check and double checked your punctuation before sending.

That being said, this essay is not enough to convince me that an earring is something you need at this time in your life. Although you state that you don’t want one to be like everyone else, I don’t see anything in your argument that proves otherwise.

Also, an earring will not necessarily enhance your looks, but may actually detract from them. Any girl who can’t appreciate you for who and what you currently are, isn’t worth your time and effort.

But, I am not the one you need to convince, that is your Dad. And you know that very well. Give him a copy of this essay and see what he thinks.

Good Luck!! And I Love you very much.

Mom

Change is the only constant in life

We went to San Diego for the holiday weekend. I wanted to get away for my birthday, but not be required to do anything other than lay in the sun at the pool. I was able to do that more than I ever anticipated.

I realized this weekend that I no longer have small children who constantly want and need my attention. They don't wake up early in anticipation of the day, cajoling me to get them to the pool as soon as humanly possible. I don't get in the pool and play games or brib them out of the pool to rub them down with sun screen.

This time around, the husband and I walked around the bay each morning and had breakfast. Just the two of us. It was nice, don't get me wrong. But it felt really weird. Is this what life will be like when they're all out of the house?

We had to threaten our 17 year old daughter with physical violence to get her off the computer and out of the hotel room for a few hours.

Our 16 year old son, who is a budding celebrity in his own mind, wouldn't leave the room unless his clothing and shoes matched to a tee. Not an easy thing to do because he is pushing size 19 shoes on his 6'8" frame. But at least he swam and rode a tandem bike with his younger brother.

Only the 13 year old, who still loves being a kid, enjoyed swimming, biking and riding his scooter. He wasn't up at the crack of dawn, like he used to be, but he didn't sleep away half the day either. He at least needed me to bring him a towel and a taco for a snack out at the pool.

I honestly couldn't wait until they were old enough do their own thing, but I terribly miss the family time we spent together when they were younger. Like chele said, I can't believe they don't need me anymore.

Wow, things seem to have changed overnight.

You and I

Sitting
queitly
in the backyard
with you
(a very rare occurance)
was wonderful

reading
watching the kids
from next door
jumping
on the trampoline

watching you
annoyed
swatting the numerous
flies away
I smiled
because
finally
I was
at rest
at peace
not worrying
about what comes
next

And the essence
of who you are
really
showed in your
smile
touch
sweet kisses
making me feel
If we try
a little harder
we might survive
together
after all

Another weekend passes in a blur

I'm not a great writer. Or even a really good one for that matter.
So much goes on in my life each day that I want to talk about. But I 'm not always sure how to express that here in this forum.

I am going through such a difficult time in my life. I feel like I want to write about it, talk about it. Mostly, it comes out in the form of poems. They seem to best allow me my self expression.

Weekends
are killing me
slowly

Not because they
are boring
but
because they are
overwhelming

Running from gym to gym
calling kids
filling in score sheets
arranging snacks
or other parents
to arrange snacks

keeping my cool
when people are too hard on my kid
when I am too hard
on my kid

rising at 6am to get to the gym by
8am for the days first game
last game time 730pm
later that evening
a concert for the middle child
birthday party for the youngest
and a tournament 2 hours away
for the oldest

and it begins again
early Sunday morning
home by 930p that night
no laundry done
no floors vacummed
no bathrooms cleaned
all need to be done
all falls on me

"so don't go every weekend"
"you don't have to be at every game"
others say to me
but they don't know
understand
the consequneces of those actions
it's more exhausting,
that conversation,
that fight

I trudge on
beginning to resent
the time required
to keep my kids
busy
out of trouble
with no time
just
for
me

Please Lord
don't let me become
the bad mom
who's never there
Who stops going,
participating
simply because
I am tired

I keep telling myself
that today
is the last day
the last hour
the last minute
that I will
continue
to deal with
the bullshit
that is
you

And yet
I am still
here

What is my excuse?

I make
more money
I'm smarter
I know that
I can do this
on my own

But
I don't want to
because
I love
you

I gues I know
That if I had to
I could
But I haven't
so far
because I didn't need to
do it
on my own
until now

The scary part is
that time has
arrived

The fool that is me

Your lies
told on a daily basis
tear at my very
being
taking away
the easy going
carefree
trusting
woman
I have always been

I know better
Yet, I continue
to let you
do this to me

Who's the fool...

It was like bein' at home

That's what Grandma said to me when she was leaving. After spending 3 days shopping, as much as she could, eating and sleeping with me and mine.

She felt like she was at home.
There is no higher compliment, is there?

I have 20 first cousins and my Grandmother has the ability to make each of us feel as if we are her favorite. Don't know how she does it, but she does. There have been long distance telephone calls debating this subject. Many times. Mostly, because I know it's me! And them trifiling cousins of mine and my brother ain't tryin' to hear it! HA!

We went shopping early Friday morning. No place special. TJ Max, Big Lots and the mall. We went to my daughter's bball game Friday night. Our girls won and Grandma had a ball. And so did my girl, having her Great Grandmother at a game for the very first time. How cool is that?

Saturday we shopped some more, but her knee got too stiff so we cut it short. She relaxed on the couch and watched TV while the husband and I went to our oldest sons two bball games. We had fried shrimp for dinner from the local fish place. It was good.

Grandma can't get up and go like she used to, but otherwise, she's still the same.

Sunday morning, she peeled potatoes while I fried bacon and scrambled eggs. My aunt and her husband where coming back to pick up Grandma and take her with them back to SD.

I am so blessed to have had the time to spend with her. Even when we sat in the same room, not saying much of anything. Just watching her crochet her wash clothes. She was there. And that's all that counts.

Grandma

My grandmother is coming to stay with me for the weekend. It gives her a break from my Aunt.

There are things I have to get used to. She's getting older and sometimes that's hard to remember. I miss the times she'd come to visit and call me to take her yard sale shopping or to pick n save. She's not one for big department stores. She loves a good bargain.

She can't get around like she used to. The arthritis in her knee is so bad at times, she's had to be rushed to the hospital twice in the last two weeks to have fluid drainded. She currently has a knee brace, a cane and a walker that she refuses to use.

I'll have to remind her to take pain medication, blood pressure medication and diabetes meds. She hates takin' those things.

I have to hit the market on the way home and buy stuff to make margaritas. She loves when I make them. But, she forgets that I made them best when I was a bartender 20 years ago. But, I'll make them for her anyway because my aunt hates when I do.

I'm hoping she will be in the mood to help me make tamales and show me how to crochet. And I really want her to see the kids games this weekend. One Friday evening and the other Saturday afternoon.

But, I'll be content to sit around and watch TV if that is all she is able to do.

And drink our margaritas.